Sunday, September 28, 2008
As I mentioned a few weeks ago, I'm posting another picture today, since this week is my third trimester, no matter who you ask. I would be really excited about it if I weren't so tired all of the time. You know, whatever.
I've been thinking a lot about the changes a baby will bring. Obviously. And my feelings are very dichotomous. We tried for so long to get pregnant for so long - it seems traitorous that I would have any feelings but joy and bliss. And I do have those feelings, but I have some other ones too.
The best thing I can compare it to was when I graduated from BYU. I loved my college years--most of them anyway. And its funny, because throughout college what you're generally thinking about is how nice it will be to graduate from college and be done with it. And when I did graduate I was so excited, and proud of myself, and looking for to the future knowing it was mine to do as I wished. I couldn't decide if I wanted to do grad school or just get a job to start a career, so I decided to take a year to decide (and obviously chose grad school). The point was, I had hopes for the future and was excited about the changes I was making.
But I was also incredibly sad. Like I said, I loved my colleges years. I had great friends and roommates--especially in the last year--and I was so sad to leave them. We had so much fun, and Provo, UT (location of BYU) held so many memories for me that I was kinda despondent to be leaving it. As excited as I was for the future, I knew that life was never gonna be like that again. It was the end of that chapter, and the thought made me cry a lot.
And that's how I feel now. I'm so excited to have this baby. I'm so excited to meet John and I can't even imagine what our lives-especially his life-holds for the future. I'm overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that I was finally able to get pregnant. But, the last four and a half years with just me and William have been SO, SO wonderful. Way better than other years of my life. And its not like I'm looking back at this time wishing we had done more before we started our family. We couldn't have fit in more (Masters degrees, PhDs, moving across the country, Cancun, Park City, Chicago, Nashville, camping trips, trips to visit family, the Cruise, the Disney World annual passes...). Being married to William, who is my most favorite person, is my most favorite thing.
And I know that nothing with William is ending. But things are definitely CHANGING. I feel like I did when I graduated. Like this chapter is closing, and even though the next one will be great, it will never be like this again. So even though I'm so excited about the future, I'm also very sad.
I don't even know if that makes sense... but there ya go. And many of you will probably feel the urge to leave me a comment about how wonderful it will be... and really I KNOW that. I am very excited. Like I said, dichotomous feelings.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I never really knew the meaning of the phrase 'death by chocolate' (even though I've put extensive research into it) until last night. When William and I ate this.
We were in Orlando, mostly to visit the temple, but also to play a bit, and decided to eat at the Cheesecake Factory for the first time. Dinner was really good. The dessert was DIVINE!
Monday, September 22, 2008
I have to admit that the first week was the hardest, because I was getting into the rhythm of it. But, once I'd gotten into it, I've really loved it. I've had to modify it a bit to fit my needs... like scratching out the 'feed pets' on the daily chores, because I don't have those. And I don't feel like it pays enough attention to the bathroom floor, so I've added that in more often. BUT, it reminds me to do awesome stuff, like cleaning out the freezer. Which, if I've being real honest, I'll admit that I only ever do if something spills in there... that smells. It's also cute and tells me to pamper myself on Sundays, and work on a craft or hobby on Fridays. And reminds me to clip coupons and clean out my wallet. And it will remind me to clip my baby's nails after he arrives.
Best. Chore. Chart. Ever.
You can check out a sample page here.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Here's the explanation:
I picked up a refill of my prescription yesterday. The drug I take is actually Ondansetron, which is the generic for Zofran. I take the orally dissovable tablets... which I'm very picky about because they are WAY better than regular tablets. I was given the regular tablets by accident in the past, and so now I usually check to make sure it's right before I even leave the Walgreens. I did this yesterday. The bottle said Ondansetron ODT (orally dissovable... you get the point). Anyways, I took the first of the new pills this morning and proceeded to have the WEIRDEST morning of my life.
- 8:00am Wake up, take pill.
- 8:15am Sitting on couch, thinking I should get up and do yoga, but feeling dizzy...
- 8:30am BLACK OUT BEGINS. The events that follow were told to me by William, I remember none of them.
- 8:45am William tells me I should eat breakfast. I apparently agreed, but did not move.
- 9:00am William gathers my quiche and yogurt for me, and brings it to the couch. He says I ate it.
- 9:16am Published this post that doesn't make much sense. Like I said, I don't remember doing it.
- 9:30am William comes into the living room and found me sleeping on the couch.
- 10:00am William notices that I have moved to the bed and am sleeping there.
- 11:30am BLACK OUT ENDS William woke me up, and asked me if I was coming to the store with him. I asked him what time it was, and when he told me, I freaked out. " I NEED TO EAT BREAKFAST BEFORE I GET SICK." "Um, you've already eaten breakfast..."
I was totally thrown by this because I have NEVER blacked out before. Seriously... I've never had a drink of alcohol, never done any type of not prescribed drug... The closest I ever been to high was when my molar teeth were removed and so I had laughing gas and a narcotic at the same time.
I took my temperature because I thought something was maybe wrong, but it was normal. "Oh well, I must just be super tired." I was able to wake up a bit by taking a shower. We did go to the store, and I mostly walked around like a zombie cause I was so groggy. It was super weird. Finally around 4pm I started to feel like myself again.
Fast forward to 8pm, and time for my evening dose. I pulled out a tablet and realized it did not say Ondansetron. It said Clonazepam. (Oh yes, you heard that right. The pharmacy gave me THE WRONG DRUG.)We promptly got into the car and went to the pharmacy. Conazepam, the generic for Klonopin, is apparently an anti-anxiety and seizure control medication. A serious one. And its class D, which means it is known to have, and is likely to, cause harm in fetuses.
I promptly began to freak out. The pharmacist assured me that since I only took one there is surely nothing to worry about. Skeptical that she was trying to avoid a law suit, I came home and researched it on the internet. Turns out, she's right. It can be seriously damaging in the first trimester, and then chronic use of it in the third trimester can actually cause the baby to become addicted to it and have neonatal withdrawal. But, just one pill towards the end of the 2nd trimester doesn't seem to be too risky.
I was freaked out - beyond freaked out - for a couple of hours, though. The pharmacy promised to call my midwife on Monday and let her know, and she may order some blood tests for me, or perhaps an ultra sound or something.... but I'm feeling calm now and like everything is going to be okay. Mother's intuition, maybe? After reading what the risks are, I feel like they are mostly related to long term use. I'm feeling so glad we caught it early and I didn't take more than one pill. Also, William called our home teacher, who came over right away and helped William give me a priesthood blessing. I felt the affirmation that there isn't anything to worry about and that my baby will be healthy.
But FYI: You can be damn skippy sure that if anything is wrong with my baby I'll sue their pants off.
Wilhelmina The Dense
(formerly known as )
You can travel in time and pour an entire beer down your throat without swallowing, but you don't look good in Spandex and you can't parallel park. You're hung like a horse, even though you're a woman. (Weird, huh?) You never sweat even when you use your super strength. If you would just stop clouding your neighbor's minds for in order to get tawdry sex, we'd all be relieved. You use your flying ability even if you've been drinking. If only you had super speed it wouldn't take you all day to do the laundry.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
And I especially enjoyed this quote:
"I understand the economy. I was chairman of the Commerce Committee, which has oversight of all aspects of America's commerce. I understand the economy."
So... Mr. Chairman? How did your efforts work out? Perhaps this is why until now you've been so insistent that everything is okay... because if you acknowledge its not okay you might have to acknowledge your part in that. Or is that really just 'cause you understand it so much better than all of the rest of us...
Of course, that interview was on Fox News, so he met no real opposition in his ridiculous comments. Biased media and all that...
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
I don't mean to keep harping on Sarah Palin, but it was such a crazy choice for McCain's VP pick... I'm still getting over it.
Thanks Bob, for sharing this video with me.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
What with me thinking that this was a nice idea, you can imagine my surprise when I read comments like this:
"i don’t particullarly care about Forks. There are other places that need help a lot worse."
"There are LOTS of places that need help more that are ASKING for help that deserve help more than Forks. I think that we should mind our own business."
"I don’t think that Forks High School should be torn down as much as the next person and I feel really bad for the people who went or go to that school, however I don’t nessicarily think that it’s that big of a cause. I bet you that if Forks High wasn’t in the books nobody would know or care that the school was being torn down."
And my personal favorite: "There are places in much more need then Forks. The only reason you want to help is because they are featured in Twilight, if they weren’t there you wouldn’t bother, you wouldn’t even give a damn. (I apologise for the language) But think of Africa, people dying every few minutes but you decide to spend your money on Forks, I mean, it’s a nice idea but their are people worse off.
Please note that those were copied and pasted. The spelling is not my fault.
So, that's awesome right? I really like the idea that we shouldn't help people who need help because there are other people who need help more. Like, how dare you bother taking out your neighbor's trash when there are still mind fields in Asia. And especially don't address a problem you could help with if you only know about the problem because you found out about it through something you like to do. That makes a lot of sense, right?
What's wrong with these people? Its a good idea. Its a nice cause. You can't go wrong serving others, even in the smallest ways. 'Cause it won't seem small to them. I'm not even saying that saving Forks High School is at the top of my 'things to do to save the world' list. But I'm certainly willing to give $5.00 to a good cause. For crying out loud.
Thats all I'm saying.
If you're curious about the project, they've got a site for it here.
Monday, September 8, 2008
My friend,Sarah, sent me a link to this blog post, which was very well written in of itself, but also shared another blogger's post that was even more eloquent.
And my sister, Camille, shared this blog post with me, which I also loved.
So yeah, I'm not alone in my thoughts. Thats validating and all that.
Oh, and an update on my insurance issue: Its resolved. Today was a rough day, but around 4:30pm I was able to get my meds and am back on track. Blessed Zofran.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
I thought I'd post a picture today, because depending on who you ask, its the start of my third trimester. Depending on who else you ask, thats not 'til about 27.5 weeks. I'll post another then, I guess.
This should be an interesting week. We're having a snafu with renewing our health insurance for this year - since we get it through the university - and until they get it fixed (because its not OUR fault) I can't get more of my Zofran. I might have a bad couple of days...
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Here's what I remember about her speech: I remember that she made reference to Obama's roots as a community organizer. I think it was something about how it will take more than a community organizer to handle the presidency. (I don't remember it verbatim, but it doesn't matter). This, we all know, was supposed to be some kind of dig at Obama's experience and background.
I was not impressed. On the contrary, I was a bit pissed. When I worked as a grant writer I spent a majority of my time with community organizers, and they are some of the most dedicated, passionate people I've encountered in the public and non profit sector. (Reminder: My Masters in Public Administration and my current work on a PhD in the same field have given me ample encounters with these people, besides my own work experiences.) What is Palin implying about these people? That they can't work hard? That they don't 'get it'? That its not valuable work? That they don't know how to lead? That they don't know what it takes? I guarantee you that most of these people work harder and longer days than any given governor in any given state in this country.
And since when is it a BAD thing to have a presidential nominee who has gotten his hands dirty in the trenches? who spent years in the desperate struggle to make life and the world a better place for people who need it the most? to have someone with the unique perspective of having made a difference at all levels of the public sector?
I couldn't even get passed that to focus on the rest of her speech. So, someone is really going to have to tell me what was so freaking impressive.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Monday, September 1, 2008
I was inspired to speak after McCain's choice in VP - because I had all of these profound thoughts about it. But, my good friend Sarah beat me to the punch. And her thoughts were so well said, it seemed silly to do a whole post on my own. So, read her post, and know that I agree. Only, I don't really know who that Aaron guy is. Also, I would have used stronger language on how sexist I feel his choice is (I'm sure she is very capable, but do you honestly believe for one minute that McCain chose Palin because he thought she was the best choice for the position or because she perfectly balanced the voting ticket? Again, she may be the best choice - but you're naive if you think that was his motivation), and how sexist I think it would be to vote for McCain JUST BECAUSE he chose a woman as his running mate. Its just about as sexist as those people who hate Hilary Clinton just because her last name is Clinton... but don't get me started on that.
To be real honest, I'm not over the moon about Obama's choice either. Don't get me wrong, I think Biden is very capable and that he is a GOOD choice. I just don't know if it was the BEST choice. And this isn't because I'm upset that he didn't choose Hilary (P.S. Not voting for Obama because he didn't choose Hilary = also sexist. And really stupid for the same reasons she wouldn't have made a good running mate for him.), because I didn't think she SHOULD have been his running mate. A good running mate is not only someone who is capable of office, but as mentioned above, also someone who balances out the voting ticket. A Obama/Clinton ticket would not have been balance. For all of her boasts of experience, Clinton really didn't have that much more than Obama (see this post). And further more, their platforms are nearly identical. Their entire campaign battle was composed of the most minute details in their policy agendas. It would have been like twins who were running mates, only it would be all exciting because one was black and one was female (again getting all excited about that just seems sexist and racist to me).
What I wished for Obama's running mate was a bolder choice. Something that would have stretched his ticket even further. Really, I wish it had been Lieberman.
Just so you know, I don't mean to down play the victory that is the diversity in this presidential race. I think it wonderful that all of our contestants are not white men. We have really come a long way. I just don't think that race or sex should play a role in WHY you vote the way you vote.