Monday, November 30, 2009
I wrote 50,385 words on my novel this month for NaNoWriMo. Not all of it is awesome, but I like plot so far. Its been a really interesting exercise. I was supposed work on an outline all summer so that I would be ready when November came to hammer out the book. But I didn't. I had an outline of the first two or three chapters. So, the first day or two of writing went really well. Then it was really, really hard for the next couple of weeks. But I felt like I eventually hit a stride. And the characters started to tell me the story instead of the other way around. It was really fun towards the end. I just might even finish writing the book.
AND now I've successfully blogged everyday for NaBloPoMo.
See how amazing I am?
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Here is William under water (okay, not really, but its funny that he's pretending to be):
Here is John enjoying the world's largest aquarium (and second largest viewing window). He actually stood there for quite awhile. He was totally fascinated. Which I, of course, found freaking adorable.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
I went shopping today. It was my first time EVER to go shopping on a Black Friday. And I gotta tell ya, it really wasn't so bad. Mind, I didn't get up at 3am and wait in line anywhere. Just later in the day we headed out to a couple of stores. The crowds weren't that bad, the deals were still good, and Costco had some yummy samples. I didn't hate it as much as I thought I would.
I'll tell you where the real deals are at though. Cyber Monday. That is what I'm looking forward to.
That is all.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Today was a wonderful day with my husband and my son. We started off with the Turkey Trot this morning. We "ran" (experienced is a better word) the 5K. Neither of us has been training. I, in fact, haven't been running AT ALL in months. I still managed to pull in under 44 minutes and William somewhere around 40. And we had John in a stroller, so I feel like we should get to shave minutes off of that. I'm really just glad it didn't take me longer than an hour.
Afterwards we came home and cooked to our hearts content, which William has already blogged about. I love me some Thanksgiving feast.
The rest of the day was spent hanging about, playing with John, watching a Christmas movie, resting...
It was just a really great holiday. And I'm feeling like I have so much to be thankful for. Not the least of these things is my wonderful little family. I'm so blessed to have my boys.
I hope everyone else had a wonderful day too.
That is all.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
William's post today got me thinking. I LOVE this time of year. I live for it. While I do make myself wait until the day after Thanksgiving to break out the Christmas decor, I start listening to the music the day after Halloween. And I get so excited about seeing the Christmas stuff show up in the stores. I LOVE it.
I hear a lot people complain about the extended Christmas season, and how its all happened because of commercialization, blah, blah, blah. But here's my thing: I don't care WHY we've extended the season, I just love the fact that we have. Christmas is an AMAZING time of year where people all over the world unite in the celebration of the birth of our Savior. Even people who don't believe in Christ, or a God at all for that matter, still get into the Spirit with a general sense of good will towards their fellow man. Its like they just can't escape the Light of God, even for trying.
I think that life is what you make of it. You can choose to be irritated because its too much about Santa and not enough about Christ. You can choose to be irritated because they start selling Christmas stuff in October. You can choose to be irritated because people are calling it a Holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree. You can choose to be irritated by all of that and be super grumpy this time of year... every year.
OR you can just choose to get over all of that and celebrate. I choose to believe that it is all about Christ. Every last bit of it. Santa is the manifestation of the Spirit of Christ, in my mind. The fact that they start selling Christmas stores earlier than they used to is a reminder to me that I need to remember Him and celebrate Him in my life more often. Calling it a Holiday tree instead of a Christmas tree reminds me that Christ loves everyone, and would encourage us to embrace people different than ourselves and lovingly share the world with them.
I simply love this time of year. And you can't bring me down, you Scrooges.
That is all.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
In case you're curious, instructions for stripping cloth diapers here.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Well, for one, pundits generally say what they think other people will repeat. Even if in the repeating people are saying its the stupidest thing anyone's ever said... they're still repeating it. But, that's not really anything new, so not my point. My point is why pundits think that what they are saying is going to get repeated and that is totally based on what they think people do and don't want to hear.
Americans have historically been incrementalists. Conservatives generally oppose change and liberal generally propose change. Now, I'm not trying to be overly simplistic here, its just the way it it. Conservatives (think about it, conservative - conserve, get it?) seek to maintain the status quo and liberals seek to change it. Neither approach is always the right thing. Sometimes either approach is the right thing. It all depends. But, even when Americans have embraced change in the past its been INCREMENTAL change. We're baby steppers.
The thing these days is this, really: Obama, Pelosi, Reid, these people are not so much incrementalists. Now, in my humble opinion they are seeing things that are broken and are just taking the steps that are necessary to fix them. But not baby steps. The fixes are big movements, not little ones. Even it will be better for us in the long run, its got all sorts of people 10 different kinds of freaked out.
But, as much as people get all freaked out about big progressive movements, they'll forget in 10 years or so that they were all freaked out. And the conservatives will be fighting to maintain that status quo and liberals will be talking about what needs to be changed. I get that I'm making some super general statements, but I'm just applying a bit of historical context here. Just for fun.
That is all.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Okay, so I gave Twilight a B+ because I'm in love with the story and I appreciated the adaptation. But, I think we all ready know it was more like a D. Maybe a D-. And pretty much everything wrong with that film can be traced back to Catherine Hardwicke being a pretty terrible director.
Luckily, Chris Weitz is MUCH, MUCH better. New Moon was so fun to watch. It was a great adaption, the acting was much better, the special effects were not ridiculous. And Taylor Lautner is a super fine young man. (Was that messed up to say that? I'm not a creepy cougar, I promise.)
And how MUCH do I love the Volturi?!?! Michael Sheen was AWESOME as Aro (SO Awesome) and Dakota Fanning was great as Jane. I was a bit irritated that Marcus had a speaking part, but I get that a character that never says anything doesn't translate to the screen very well.
Anyways, I really enjoyed myself. I can't wait to see it again!
Friday, November 20, 2009
They asked: How do you celebrate good news or big occasions?
With food. Seriously. Is there another way? We either go have a nice dinner or we go get the best ingredients and make it at home.
As a side note, I'm pretty sure this is the way I handle bad news as well.
That is all.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Thank you to Chanda, who directed me to plinky.com for ideas on what to blog about. My mind is pretty blank tonight. I had planned on doing a post about the current political climate in America that included an incrementalist versus progressive discussion, but I'm too tired now. So, instead we're getting this:
I'm not much of a window shopper. I don't generally like being in a store just for the sake of being in that store. The one exception to this rule is Barnes & Noble. Oh, how I love the B&N. HOURS and HOURS of my life have been spent walking up and down the aisles looking at all the different books there are to read in the world. Everything from self help, to cooking, to travel, to hobbies... not to mention yummy fiction. Oh, and lately lots of baby related topics. I like walking through the store and gathering a pile of books and then going and sitting down in the Starbucks area (possibly with a hot chocolate or steamed milk) and taking my time browsing through those books. It is window shopping at its best. Except that sometimes I end up buying the books and that's not so much window shopping as it is, you know, shopping.
That is all.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tonight my word count for NaNoWriMo is at 25,777. So I'm just over half way to the goal of 50,000!. Ideally I would have been at this point on the 15th, so I'm a few days behind. But, I have a handy spreadsheet (I love me a good spreadsheet) that tells me how many words I need to write every day to finish on time. I've been writing a bit more than that every day, so I'm slowly catching back up to where I should be. My story is... not always awesome. But there are moments of brilliance and at least when this is all over I'll have something to work with.
AND when this is all over I can just say that I did it. That's really the most important thing to me right now and the thing that keeps me going at it. Last time I tried the bottom feel out around 15,000 words, so I'm doing WAY better this time. And feeling pretty good about it!
Today, People magazine announced that Johnny Depp is the "Sexiest Man Alive." The magazine cover shows Depp with little more than a smirk and slicked back hair and, of course, sporting his trademark face fuzz. Before you read too far into this, you should know that I love Johnny Depp, and I think he is as worthy of the honor as anyone else. What troubles me is something else in this forthcoming issue of People. The words stamped on the lower left of the front cover read "110 OF THE HOTTEST GUYS ON THE PLANET!" Before you rush out to buy your copy, you should know this, I am not in the issue. People neither contacted me for use of a picture nor took pictures of me for the purpose of this issue. It is a travesty, I know. How can they make this claim when they know it is false or that their list is incomplete at best? Do I need a better publicist? Or maybe I should get a publicist? Seriously, though, congrats to those who did make the list. And just in case you're not convinced by my little rant, check out my pic!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
All of us out side of the Pancake Pantry (only just barely John, who was tired and busy rubbing his face on me):
If you ever go to the Pancake Pantry, order this. I can't remember exactly what it was called, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with Chocolate and Sin. Ann Marie ordered it and I had a bite and I haven't stopped thinking about it since:
And here's a shot of John being cute in the hotel room. He loves these wall air units, and whenever we stay in a hotel that has them he beelines for it. Its a shame we don't have one at home:
Monday, November 16, 2009
But it got me thinking about the first time I remembered being betrayed by a friend. It was actually my cousin. When I was much younger there was a period of time when my aunt and cousins lived with us. Including my aunt there was five of them. And there were five of us. It was crowded. BUT, it seemed like a lot of fun sometimes. Probably because I was only 5 or 6.
I remember once that one of my cousins and I were bathing together (remember I was only 5 or 6, no big deal) and I was making some joke about rinsing off my bum (5 or 6, people). It made my cousin laugh really hard (she's only a year old than I am, so 6 or 7) which I'm sure was my goal.
A couple of days later, when I was being picked on by some of the older kids, this cousin jumped in with them. And, in an effort to seem cool, threw out something about how stupid I was when rinsing of my bum in the shower. At that moment, that's the first time I remember thinking that I had been betrayed by someone I thought was my friend. She had thought it was really funny at the time, but she also knew - as well as I did - that the older kids would think it was really stupid. She sold me out. Sure enough everyone was laughing at me being really stupid and all I kept thinking is, "But she thought it was funny, why'd she do that to me?"
Now, this doesn't - by a long shot - go down in the books as the biggest betrayal by a friend in my life, (I think the award goes to a group of roommates in college, actually), but it was an introduction into the world of "sometimes you think you can trust people, and some times you're right but sometimes you're wrong."
I still haven't figured out a sure fire of knowing which is which.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sorry to my facebook friends, who will see this again when this post shows up on facebook. But... I guess I'm not that sorry since this video is just freaking cute and you probably wanted to see it again anyway.
I once had a 62-inch waist. Now I wear size 34 pants. My thighs used to measure about 40 inches! I used to wear a size 66 suit. Now I wear a 44L, and I have to have the pants altered smaller! My resting heart rate used to be in the 80s, and now it is in the 50s! That is one of the biggest changes, to me. It often makes me think about the relief I have brought to what was once a stressed out heart. My knees bother me sometimes, but I think that's because I was too late in losing the weight. But I think about how messed up they could have been. In relation to joints, I used to have THE WORST ankle problems. They always ached, and if I spent more than a couple hours on them during the day, I could hardly walk the next day, if at all. And I rolled my ankles all the time in those days (it's easy when you weigh over 400 pounds). Today, my ankles rarely bother me. I rarely sprain them, and I can go all day (which I have done many times walking around Disney World) and hardly ever feel pain. And the next day they are good to go. Climbing a flight of stairs used to suck my breath away for several minutes. Now, on any given day, I can throw on some running shoes and pound pavement for 30 minutes at a good pace and not breathe as heavy as climbing the stairs once made me do. Of course, I don't run very often so as to preserve my knees, but I do it once or twice a week, mixing the bike and other cardio in between. I also walk a lot more. I mean everywhere I can. For example, my office on campus is in a building that is four stories and a "basement." My office is on the second floor, and the dept. office is on the top floor. I might use the elevator once a semester, and that is usually only because I am in the middle of a conversation with someone who is taking it. If it's within five floors, I will almost always take the stairs, no matter where I am because it's usually faster, too.
That's about all I can think of right now, but I will finish with an unusual stat: food quantity. I can still put it away, but not like I used to. I could once go to a buffet and clean off three or four plates before hitting the desserts twice. Today, I will go to a buffet, load one plate and only clean it if everything is good enough to finish. Whatever isn't, which is a common occurrence at buffets, I just won't eat. I will take a second trip, but only to get a little more of the one or two things I liked the best. Then I will take a trip to the desserts once. I will get two to four different things, but I will only sample each to determine which is the most worth finishing. If nothing is, then I leave it all; otherwise, I eat the one or two things really worth it. I use the buffet as an example because it is one of the most obvious to me. However, I should point out that I rarely go to buffets any more, and I used to frequent them, at least once a week. There are plenty of other examples, but I have saved those for my memoir. Now, I need to see about getting that published. Basically, it's about habit, and having trained my body to fill up on less food. Whereas my previous buffet trips would barely fill me after all that food, my current ones stuff me after eating less than half the amount. And that is the most satisfying feeling.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
And John is so patient with us. I was thinking today about all of the traveling he's done in the first year of his life. He's been to Wyoming, Denver, Nashville, Atlanta, and Orlando half a dozen times. He handles being in the car well, he handles sleeping in hotels well, he handles being carted all over the place in his stroller well. Indeed, dare I say I think he actually LIKES all of these things? He just has a lot of fun being out and about. The only thing he's ever really struggled with is a time zone change. (And, mostly I struggled more than he did over the fact that he struggled.)
He's such a cool kid.
Friday, November 13, 2009
We also go to Orlando pretty frequently. Its important to us, because the main reason we go is to attend the temple as often as possible. We generally come down once a month and take turns going (while the other cares for John outside). This generally involves one night's stay. Back when I was working full time and we could afford it, we also had annual passes to Disney World. We can't afford that now. But for a mere FRACTION of the price we were able to get annual passes to Universal Studios (we actually got a good discount at Wal Mart).
Anyways, we used to stay in the cheapest hotel we could find. We stayed in a lot of nasty places. Places where you had to wear your socks all the time, because it was better if your white socks turn black rather than your feet. And it was the only way we could afford it. But one day I decided to try my hand at negotiating at priceline.com. Its mostly the most awesome thing ever. We don't always end up in super hotels, but we always pay cheap hotel prices for places we don't have to wear socks at all the time. And, sometimes, we end up at super awesome hotels. Tonight we are staying at a Residence Inn for $35.00 a night... in a room that normally goes for about $150.00 a night. Its just so great.
That is all.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
I'm way behind on my word count for NaNoWriMo. Like 4,100 words behind. That doesn't seem like much, but it keeps building. Every day that I come in a little under what I need the gap widens. So, that's all I'm blogging about today because I'm busy writing and trying not to add to the gap today.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Its mostly just totally out of control. But I've noticed an interesting theme when I see this topic discussed in the news and whatnot. In one news discussion people were talking about reasons to blame the government. They say its all about farm subsidies and the fact that corn is so cheap to grow that it ends up as a filler in all of our foods. It's true, I can't argue with that...
There are also people talking about the labels on food and how they're calling things smart choices, or saying they're good for having fiber in them, etc. etc. and really they're just bad for you. People are, of course, outraged that they are being duped in to buying these foods. I guess that's fair, those labels are ridiculous...
I also recently heard about some studies done on working moms and how their children deal with obesity more than children of stay at home moms. Working women are, as you might predict, totally outraged. And here's where the theme among these stories is so obvious. One woman said, "I can NOT believe they want to blame mothers for this epidemic at all, much less hard working mothers!" Yeah, right... I was actually thinking the parents would be the first ones to blame. Certainly this mother wasn't suggesting that her 150lb 6 year old daughter was to blame.
Mostly everyone wants to think its someone else's fault that their kids are fat. Mostly I want to think that people need to start taking responsibility.
News flash folks: if your child is overweight, you need to stop buying them crap. If you're paying attention to what is in the foods that you are feeding your children and how much of it you're feeding them, it doesn't matter if someone else is calling the food healthy, it doesn't matter if you're a working mom, and it doesn't matter if corn is cheap. Get your head in the game.
As I said, I'm insanely picky about what goes into my son's mouth. Obesity and Diabetes run in both sides of his family. This means its most likely that he's not going to be one of those people who can eat whatever he wants and not worry about it. That, in turn, means that I need to be extra vigilant in what I feed him and the eating habits I teach him.
He's almost 11 months and he's never had sugar. Ever. And I'm not planning on it anytime soon. I didn't even give him fruits until he was 10 months, so that he'd get used to a multitude of flavors before he falls in love with sweet things. (My sister did something similar and my niece's favorite thing to snack on is spinach leaves. No joke. She likes candy too, but just not as much...) And I'm super wary of fillers. And freaked out about a lot of the food I see on the shelves at store. I almost bought some of those Gerber snacks that dissolve in the baby's mouth, right? I checked the ingredients first, of which there are like 20. Its, like, totally fake food. I bought organic puffed brown rice instead. Ingredients: organic puffed brown rice. And when I wanted him to try yogurt I looked at some stuff meant for kids. High fructose corn syrup. Awesome. I bought plain natural yogurt instead. Ingredients: Milk and Enzymes. I keep all of his foods pure and natural.
Anyways, I'm just saying this isn't rocket science. That is all.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
There has been a lot of talk around campus about the possibility of classes tomorrow being canceled due to Hurricane Ida. So far, two of my professors have canceled tomorrow's classes, however I have not yet received any word from you in regards to the matter. Will you still be holding class tomorrow? Hope to hear back from you soon."
*insert laughter here*
For those of you not in the southeast, the "hurricane" referred to was little more than light winds (mostly around 25 mph) and an off and on haze, mist, drizzle of rain. My favorite part is the "however I have not yet received any word from you in regards to the matter." Hmmmm . . . I wonder why.
Monday, November 9, 2009
This book came out a couple of months ago, but since I was not really blogging much at the time I totally didn't bring it up. Even after earlier this year when I vowed to do more book reviews on my blog. I KNOW everyone eagerly awaits my thoughts on all these matters.
Catching Fire was the amazing sequel to Hunger Games. If you have not read either or just Hunger Games and not Catching Fire, you must go to the bookstore and/or library RIGHT NOW. Seriously. Stop reading this, put on your shoes, and walk out the door.
After reading Hunger Games, which was simply riveting, I wondered what Collins could possibly do to maintain the intensity of that story. She not only maintained the intensity, but made the Hunger Games seem almost tame. It was freaking amazing.
But maybe everyone wouldn't like it. I mean, some people don't like stories with intense drama, action, relationships, manipulation, intrigue, revolution... If you're one of those people you don't have to go to the book store. But, you're kinda lame.
In other news, our new car got great gas mileage on the way home from Atlanta this past weekend, where we had lots of fun and ate some good food.
Sorry I wasn't more specific with today's blog, but I have been writing AAAAAAAALL day. I need a break.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I was thinking about that today and I remember another friend I had in 6th who always got As. I mean ALWAYS. Every report card, every assignment, every test... until one day a test came back and she got a C. And, again in my sensitivity, I was like, "What?!?! You didn't even get a B? What the heck!" And she simply shrugged and said, "It was bound to happen eventually."
The "ya win some, ya loose some" attitude is generally pretty lost on me. I don't handle it very well when I put effort into something and then fail at it. Even sometimes I'm upset when I don't fail, but don't succeed as much as I wished I had. I think I just need to learn to let it go. To trust in God and in His Atonement to perfect my imperfections.
That is all.
Are people really that ignorant? Is it really such a bad thing to provide a way for people to have health insurance or to make the care that they need affordable? One person I know said,
"To those who read this and think I am insensitive, All I can say is there is a group for you. It is the GOYA group! Stands for get off your a$$. I made it happen for me and my wife so I'm sure IF and that is a big IF you have a will you can find a way..."
What the heck is all that supposed to mean? Is this person really suggesting that people without health insurance don't have it because they're lazy? I know so many people who are off their a$$es and probably working harder than this person just to make ends meet. Now, how are they supposed to pay for insurance on top of that? Again, I am so sick of the ignorant, ridiculous, and heartless arguments against taking care of our fellow men and women. As for me, I AM my brother's keeper.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
I'm gonna brag about his skills and abilities and attributes anyway. He's 10 and half months now (roughly). He's almost 30 inches and weighs almost 24 lbs. His head is abnormally large. (Seriously. It was at the 96th percentile at his 9 month check up.) He's mostly just a big boy all around. Still just two teeth (bottom front).
He has been crawling for several months now. And he starting standing up and walking along the furniture pretty the day after he figured out crawling. He can also stand on his own, with no support from anyone or anything, but has not been brave enough yet to get those feet moving if he's not holding onto something. We try to encourage this and he just sits down.
He's using all kinds of syllables and vowels - and we're sure that he knows that William is "Dada". No such luck with me and "Mama". He says the "Ma" syllable often, which gets me excited, so he'll say it more... but he hasn't put two and two together yet.
He L.O.V.E.S. books. Cries when a good one ends and will pick it up and start "reading it to himself". (All of the right syllables - not in the right order.) Its the cutest thing ever.
Around 6 months I started to feel like he was picking something new up every day. I love it. I love it when he does something and I'm thinking, "I've never seen that before!". And I think he loves it too because I get all excited.
He's also a laugher. Pretty much everything is funny to this kid. AND he has the incredible ability to cry and laugh at the same time. We learn this when he's letting us know he's hungry, and we're trying to distract him while we prepare his food. "I'm starving to death and I'm really upset about it, but what you're doing right now is hysterical." Good times.
He's still not a great sleeper, but its way better than it used to be. Some nights he'll still stir two or three times (more if something like a diaper rash or teething comes up) but some nights he goes a 7 hour stretch. We mostly just never know what we're going to get. But I'm not waking up every two hours all night long every night anymore, which is awesome.
Okay, that's all for now. Pictures (and perhaps video) to come later.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
As fate would have it, William found just that when he was out searching last Saturday. (Did you know that on the last day of the month dealers are desperate to get cars off the lot?) We got a GREAT deal on this:
(not actually vehicle. just like actual vehicle.)
We L.O.V.E. it. Mock me if you will for having a mini-van - but I can fit your car in my car. And watch DVDs. It pretty much rocks.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Check out the Bone Fish Grill Giveaway at "Just Another Review Blog" and try to win a $25.00 gift certificate!
But I hope you don't win. I hope I do. Sorry about that.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Now for a little Halloween: We went to the pumpkin patch to get cute pictures of John, and found out that you shouldn't wait until the day before Halloween to do this. There were NO big pumpkins left. Just little ones. But we got some great pictures anyway. I already posted these pictures on facebook, so you may have already seen them. (What? You're not on facebook? That's impossible. Everyone is on facebook...)
And here he is in costume. He took 2nd place in his age group at the Halloween Party. We were, of course, incredibly proud of his cuteness.
Funny thing is that we were so excited about how cute John was, that we forgot to take pictures of us. I was wearing a sign that said "Go Ceilings Go! Woo hoo! You're number 1!" (Ceiling fan, get it?) William had question marks all over his person. Whenever someone asked what he was he said, "I don't know." with a shoulder shrug. It was funny. That is all.
Monday, November 2, 2009
I haven't posted much lately – kinda sporadically over the last few months, I guess. And mostly, it's because I haven't much felt like it. And to be honest, up until recently it'd been a while since I really felt like doing much of anything. I think it was around late July or early August that I realized why.
So, let's talk about Postpartum Depression (PPD). More specifically, let's talk about what I thought it was:
- Depression that sets in right after your baby is born.
- Depression that keeps you from really bonding with your baby.
- Depression can make you constantly stress and worry about your baby's health.
- Depression can make you suicidal.
- Depression that can, possibly, lead to psychosis.
It wasn't until I read this article that I realized that a lot of the symptoms listed applied to me. Especially the fact that I was totally overwhelmed by life. I could take care of John just fine – that's the one thing that I've been really good at all along. But, the idea of taking care of John and, let's say, making dinner was, for many months, totally out of the realm of possibility. Because I lacked some of the other symptoms that I knew about, it really hadn't occurred to me what the problem might be. After reading that article I did some research, and one of the first things I found is that PPD is defined as "moderate to severe depression in a woman after she has given birth. It may occur soon after delivery or up to a year later. Most of the time, it occurs within the first 4 weeks after delivery."
So, I sought help. I'm uninsured right now, so I went to my Bishop, who arranged to help me pay for therapy. I love my therapist. I was afraid I would go see someone and they would just throw some drugs at me and that would be it. But he and I are of the same mind – drugs don't really fix anything, they just make you feel better so that you can fix things. And while I think they DO have value (they help A LOT of people; I just feel like more care and concern needs to go in using medication. Bottom line is that the brain is an organ just like any other and sometimes just needs to be treated.), I didn't feel like I needed them, and he went along with me. I told him going in that I didn't feel that bad, and I didn't think I was severely depressed.
After about 5 or 6 weeks of therapy I was feeling better – but it was like happiness was this allusive thing that sometimes I would have, but that I couldn't really hold onto. Some days I felt really good and would be super productive, and some days I couldn't get anything done. I was frustrated that I felt like I had a more mild case of PPD, but couldn't snap out of it. And then my therapist had an epiphany. He had been taking me at my word that I didn't feel that bad, but had not initially taken into account while I'm feeling below normal, my normal is relative. After discussing my history and other things you discuss in a therapist's office, he hit me with some more news.
He diagnosed me with dysthymia. Which basically means my normal is lower than normal people's normals. So, I thought I was only moderately depressed, but to anyone else it would seem like severe depression. This was a big news flash for me. I'd never heard of dysthymia, or I would have been treated for it a long time ago. I was just so used to my normal that I didn't know it wasn't a normal normal, if you're following me.
My therapist referred me to a great primary care physician, who agreed the diagnosis. So, I'm on Prozac now. And I pretty much love it. I feel SA-HO much better. So, I'm gonna ride that train for now and see where it takes me. I'm unsure about the future since I want more babies like, yesterday, and I'm not sure about taking the stuff while pregnant and breastfeeding… but for now I'm feeling great! :-)
The crisp, cool morning suggests that Fall has finally arrived in Tallahassee. Of course, just by nature of the area, it's bound to change at any moment and hit the mid 80s. But I will enjoy the cooler weather while it lasts. Fall is very symbolic for me, mainly because it is called "Fall" and as a result of what it entails. I cannot help but think about the Fall of man, especially since I am almost constantly thinking about it in one way or another while I bust out that dissertation. I am presenting a paper in Atlanta this coming weekend that is part of that dissertation. Hope everyone will be impressed.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
That's right, folks, I'm doing both this year. Hold on to your hats.
NaNoWriMo is the goal to write 50,000 words in the month of November. I've got a story that's been stewing in my head for about two years now, and I'm going to give it my best shot. Last time I did NaNoWriMo it did not end well, but I think I'm more prepared this time. At least, I know what I've gotten myself into.
NaBloPoMo is simply the goal to blog everyday in November. It used to be called NaNoBloMo. I'm glad they changed it. That didn't make sense. I did this last year instead of NaNoWriMo. It was fun, so I want to do it again. Some days were harder than others, but I figure this time if I have a busy day I can just post pictures of John and everyone will be happy. I will try not to do this every day. In fact, I've been compiling things over the last week or so to blog about. For one, an explanation of why I haven't blogged much lately. Then, movie reviews, book reviews, political opinions, other controversial opinions, updates on John… its gonna be good stuff folks.